Hit List
by StarWars-Freak
Summary: Jainacentric. She hates her mother, her best friends, and him, but most of all, she hates herself. Can she be reached before it's too late? NJO characters in high school. Companion to Yavin Academy.
1. How It Began

This story is a Jaina-centric companion to the story _Yavin Academy._ It will contain many spoilers for information that has yet to be revealed in its parent fanfiction. If you do not wish to be spoiled, I would suggest holding off reading this until later in _Yavin Academy_ or until _Yavin Academy_ is complete.

**Hit List**: Jaina's companion to _Yavin Academy._ This story begins in the late spring before the events of _Yavin Academy_.

Chapter 1:

Jaina stumbled into the bathroom. Something hard connected with her hip bone; she gripped the sink ledge and looked up into her reflection in the mirror.

"_Ugly wench."_

Bags hung under her eyes from which dark mascara streaks ran. Her hair was a dirty mass of knots.

"_You'll never be able to do it, Jaina. No one thinks you will."_

"Zekk," she cried through her chapped and cracking lips. He had left… again. It had hurt this time. It hadn't hurt in a long time. She gripped the sink harder.

"_You're nothing, Jaina. You're a junkie. If you're mother knew the truth about you…"  
_

If her mother knew the truth… He hadn't finished the sentence, but she knew the rest. If her mother knew the truth about her, she would hate her, despise her, and disown her. She wouldn't be proud of her like she had said just last week.

"_I'm all you'll ever have." He kept repeating himself as he went harder, faster._

"Come back," she whimpered. The pain was steadily increasing. Pain, he'd always said pain was what made you feel alive. She closed her eyes, unable to stand the death that stared back at her from the mirror.

"_You'll be better off," he whispered before leaving her bed, her room._

The shakes were starting; soon, she knew, the high would be gone. She opened her eyes again and gazed at herself. Her eyes, everyone loved her eyes, but now they held no emotion, nothing but the emptiness that was being reflected from her heart.

She grabbed a pillbox that rested on her vanity and shook it, trying to hear the rattling of the pills. There were none. The pain was steadily increasing; the shakes were steadily becoming more jarring. She opened the mirror cabinet over her sink. Her blurry vision didn't allow her to make out where her other bottles were. Her shaking hand knocked down an indeterminable amount of bottles. They crashed to the floor and rolled in various directions and out of sight. She groped around more in the cabinet, eventually encountering something sharp. She gripped the blade, ignoring how the edges cut into her skin, and pulled it out. She'd cut herself a few times before in an effort to release some of the pain that would build up inside of her as she came down off her highs. She hated to do it, but desperate times…

She took the blade and dragged it down her arm, starting from the wrist. Her shakes jarred it. She dropped the blade once it was over. There was blood, too much blood than there should have been for such a small, shallow cut. Maybe it wasn't small and shallow, she couldn't tell. She gripped the wound and stumbled back until she hit a wall. As her right shoulder slammed against what felt like it could have been a door jamb, she cried out in pain. What had she done?

"Jaina!" someone called from the connecting bedroom.

"Zekk?" she weakly asked as she slumped down the wall of her bathroom. Had he come back to her?

"Jaina?" the voice asked again. It wasn't Zekk; the male's voice was far too kind to be his. She felt strong arms wrapped around her and heard incoherent screams before being completely enveloped by unconsciousness.


	2. Notebook Thing

Chapter 2: Notebook Thing

"_Dear Diary,"_ Jaina looked at the perfect swirls that spelled out two words she never thought she'd write, and then crossed them out_. "Dear Journal,"_ she began again. Again, two slashes went through the words.

"_Notebook Thing,"_ she wrote this time, thinking,_'It'll have to do for now.'_

"_I don't want to be writing in you, but Dr. Cavery said that it was important to the 'healing process'. I think he just owns stock in the Mead notebook paper company…"_

Jaina sighed and looked out the window of the covered speed boat. She was on her way back to Coruscant after spending the last two weeks of school and practically the whole summer on the island of Mon Calamari at Peaceful Shores, a rehabilitation center and psych hospital that was cleverly and well disguised as a super exclusive club, spa and resort. Dr. Cavery had "taken on" her "case" as though it was some difficult court trial; of course, for the amount of pain and suffering she had put the doctors, security, and counselors through, it was probably worse.

But what had they expected? That she would just sit quietly and do what she was told? They still couldn't figure out how she had managed to "escape" all those different times. Jaina had scoffed at that. She and her brothers had been dodging Secret Service since they could walk, hell maybe even crawl, and they thought a couple of cameras and some fat old guards would hold her? She rolled her eyes, '_Please.'_

She turned back to the spiral notebook that lay open on her lap. She hated to be actually doing something the idiotic doctor had told her to do, but truth be told, he had managed to help her get off her dependency on X, painkillers and speed. If there was one thing Jaina Solo hated it was being dependent on anyone or anything. She picked up her pen to write again.

"_I don't really know what to write. How lame does that sound? Dr. Cavery said I should start by writing about 'who I am' and 'my family history'. But hey, it's not like I can stoop any lower; I mean, I am writing in a…diary… after all._

"_Who I am… my family history…? Here's both in a nut shell… I'm the daughter of heroes… and I hate it; I'm the niece of heroes… and I hate it; hell, I'm even the goddaughter of a hero… and, that's right, I hate it! Not that I hate them, my mother not included, but how can a girl be normal when her entire life is surrounded by hero worship? When I told Dr. Cavery about my totally abnormal family, he was all, 'so that's why you're a junkie?' Okay, maybe those weren't his exact words, but it was what he meant, and no matter what I did last year, that is NOT who I am. _

"_But he doesn't get it; 'who I am' is nothing. I don't exist; I don't know if I ever existed. I'm not trying to be all 'pity Jaina Solo because she was ignored by her mother all her life'; that's not it at all. The real Jaina Solo just never existed. I went from being raised by my dad's 'business partner'-slash-best friend and our family's butler to being on the cover of every frikking magazine in the world like I was some sort of celebrity. No one ever let me figure out who I am and what I want, and then when I act out on it, they're all like 'where did we go wrong?' Uh, that'd be about the time when you blew up the Death Star, just FYI, Mom and Dad, about the time you became heroes in the eyes of the entire world. Well, they're not heroes, not to me._

"_I'll write more later… maybe._

"_Solo out."_

Jaina looked down at what she'd written and could not believe that she had already taken up an entire page. She knew that she would never admit it to anyone, not her brother, not Tenel Ka, but as she had scratched down her inner most thought onto the flimsy piece of paper, she actually felt relieved. She's screamed these things at the top of her lungs before, but never coherently, never for anything but to be angry, not to just get it out in the open.

She closed the notebook and capped the pen, leaned back and closed her eyes; she wanted to be home, as stifling as it could be, and the boat was simply not going fast enough.


	3. Friends

All right, here it is, the next exciting chapter to _Hit List_. I've decided to add review responses before the chapters; I've done it for other stories, so I'll do it for this one too.

REVIEW RESPONSES: **To JaggednJaded**: yeah, because you're only _slightly_ biased on that subject… **To Redd**: Thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed it; she's just not Jaina without the Solo wit. **To Chimpo**: Yes, Jaina was addicted to drugs. She's definitely, completely lost, and yes, Jag is totally wrong in his assumptions about her. **To SWaddict1986**: No problem. Yes, it's definitely a good thing she got help. And, yeah, having that many heroes for relatives has to suck. **To G-Anakin13**: thank you. **To GavinDarklighter**: Yeah, this definitely isn't a story for Zekk-lovers. I'm glad you understand Jaina, and the reason why she and Zekk are still friends will come in time.

Chapter 3: Friends

Jaina stepped onto the harbor dock and collected her bags. She looked around for the tall golden haired butler that had been in her family's employ for God knows how long. There wasn't a single blonde haired, tall man that looked like Theodore. Her mother surely would have sent the anal retentive, whiny man to collect her, unless of course, her mother had forgotten entirely that she was due to come home that day, which Jaina knew was a distinct possibility.

"Jaya! Hey, Jaya!" Jaina looked over to where the call was coming from. Her two brothers were jumping up and down and waiving their arms like total idiots trying to get her attention. Tenel Ka and Lowie also stood there anxiously awaiting her arrival.

Jaina managed to smile slightly and ran over to greet her longtime best friends. Jacen immediately picked her up and swung her around. He set her down and held her tightly.

"Welcome home, Jaya, welcome home," he whispered fiercely in her ear. Jaina hugged her twin back, trying not to cry at his concerned tone. She was close enough with her twin to know how happy he was that she was okay.

"Hey, the rest of us want a chance to hug Jaya too," Anakin mockingly complained, effectively lightening the mood.

Jaina and Jacen stepped away from each other, and Anakin jumped in, eager to hug his older sister. They embraced for a moment, before Tenel Ka took Anakin's place. Last to hug her, Lowie engulfed her petite frame and whispered in her ear, "I'm not letting you out of my sight for a second."

Jaina laughed for the first time in months. Had it been anyone else, she would have been put out, accusing them of not trusting her or being overbearing, but she knew that Lowie had always concerned himself with Jaina's wellbeing and held himself responsible for her safety.

Jaina smiled at all of her friends and let them lead her to where they had parked Jacen's speed boat, but she couldn't help but notice that one of the "usual group" was missing. She should have expected it; the last time the two spoke was hardly good circumstances, but a small part of Jaina hoped that her old, close friend would be there. Over the summer, she had written a letter in hopes of trying to explain what had happened; it was not enough, she knew, but it should have at least been enough to warrant a proper greeting or a chance to further explain.

When they arrived at the Presidential Palace, a huge mansion that Jaina's family had called home for the better part of her life, Jaina excused herself to her room claiming tiredness.

Jaina sat down on her bed, and rather than lying down, she took out the notebook she had written in on the boat.

"_Notebook Thing,_

"_I think that name might actually be growing on me… scary thought. What's just as scary is that I'm actually writing in you again._

"_I'm home again. It's so weird to be in my own bedroom which obviously hasn't been touched except to be cleaned since I left. My friends picked me up at the docks. Not all of them, just my closest. The "core", the "usual group", that's what we've always been called._

"_Jacen was there and he acted like what happened the last time I saw him hadn't actually happened, that the last time he saw me wasn't when he found me high and cutting myself so deep I could have killed myself. I hadn't expected him to want anything to do with me after what I did. I hadn't expected anyone to want to be around me after what I did._

"_Tenel Ka was there too. Tenel Ka cume ta Djo and I have been best friends since we met when we were five years old. Can you believe that? Well, of course you can't, you're an inanimate object, but that's not the point. The future Queen Mother of Hapes and my darling brother started dating last year and by what I've heard and seen – yuck – they're still together._

"_My little brother Anakin and Tahiri are now dating according to what Ani told me on our way home. 'About time,' is all I have to say. Ani and I have never been really close. He's my baby brother and he's been following Jacen and I around since he could crawl, but it seems since I've been gone he and my friends have really gotten close. Wonderful._

"_Louis 'Lowie' Bacca was the last of my best friends to greet me. Lowie is my 'uncle' Charles 'Chewie' Bacca's nephew. We met when we were one year olds and have remained inseparable since._

"_It's weird, just writing about them. I don't need the explanation, obviously, but actually writing it is like 'wow'. I've known TK for twelve frikking years and Lowie for sixteen. The rest of my friends I met in grade school, even my other (and former, it seems) best friend. God, I hate that I can't even bring myself to write the name, but it hurts. We were friends for so long and I don't even know what happened, which is totally my fault after all, but still, I wish…_

"_My mother is calling for me to come down, wow, and she's actually home for dinner. Miracles do happen. Dad is out of town with Chewie and Lando, so that means no buffer between me and mom; great, just what I need, a fight between us the night I get home._

"_I guess I'll write later,_

"_Solo out."_


	4. Argue

REVIEW RESPONSES: To SWaddict1986: Thank you; I'm quite fond of those names as well. Yeah, and she's going to need it a lot more before the story's out. Thank you again. To Black Dragon of Destruction: Slightly unexpected yes, but as you said, makes for a good story. To General Antilles: Your review made my day. Here's the update.

Chapter 4: Argue

Dinner was tense and silent. After an awkward hug between mother and daughter, the family (with the addition of Tenel Ka and Lowie) moved into the grand dining room. Jaina sat in her usual seat feeling as she always felt around her mother, judged, stifled; it was always the same.

"Jaina, get your elbow off the table; did you forget all your manners while you were gone?"

Jaina complied with her mother's demand but did not let her comment slide. "So that's how it's going to be?"

"How what is going to be, Jaina?"

"We pretend I was just on vacation. I mean, I get that we would do that for the public, but now I'm not allowed to talk about it in our home, is that it?"

"Jaina –"

"I just want to be clear. Are there certain times I'm allowed to talk or maybe I can only talk about it if I'm in my room, or am I even allowed to talk about it there? I can still think about it, right? There's no need to have my memory erased and a new, President-approved memory installed, is there?"

"Jaina, that's enough. We are not going to argue in front of guests."

"It's Teekay and Lowie. I don't think you get counted as a guest if you've had you own bedroom somewhere for eleven years."

"Jaina, I simply asked you take your elbows off of the table."

"You deliberately made it seem like –"

"Where you have been for the past two and half months is hardly suitable dinner –"

"Rehab, you can say it. I've been in rehab. And you're the one who shipped me off to stay there. I bet you were so happy while I was gone too –"

"That is enough! We will not have this conversation any more. If your father was here, you wouldn't dare –"

"If Dad was here, I could actually stand being in the room!" Jaina picked her napkin off her lap and threw it on the table. "I'm not hungry," she said as she stormed out of the room.

Jaina kept going until she hit the stairs. By the sound of it, another person left the dining room. She looked back and saw her mother heading towards her study. Jaina turned back and ran all the way to her room.

"_Notebook thing," _she began as soon as the door was closed and she was lying across her bed.

"_Three entries in one day is getting to be a little unreasonable, but you're all I have. I suspect one of the usual group will be up here in a minute to try to calm me down._

"_Sometimes, most times, I really hate my mother. She wants to pretend like this summer never happened. I mean, I guess that that is not a huge shock; I knew she would do anything possible to keep it from leaking to the press, but I figured I'd at least be able to talk about it in the privacy of our own house. But no, it's forbidden. I wish Dad had been home. I know that he wants to be; he even called just before I left to let me know that he loves me and will be home as soon as he possibly can. Dad's never lied to me before, I know that. _

"_Hold on there's a knock at the door. Three guesses who._

"_Later,_

"_Solo out."_

Jaina got up and went to the door. Her baby brother was leaning up against the jamb.

"Pick the short straw?"

He grinned and brushed past her into the bedroom. "Lost rock-paper-scissors, actually. Jacen was rock, I was scissors."

"Right." Jaina did not doubt a word of it; she knew that no one, even her best friends, would be very eager to try to talk her down. Well, one of them would, but that person was not here, so it didn't matter. She closed the door and turned to face Anakin who had made himself comfortable on her bed. Thank God she had closed her notebook.

"So you want to talk, yell, rant, rave? All four and in no particular order?"

"I'm good."

"You sure? Because the great Princess cume ta Djo told me that I wasn't allowed to come down until you were calm."

She held out her arms and indicated to herself. "Don't I look calm?"

"So it's going to be a slow, quiet seething then?" he asked in a wise, pondering sort of way.

"I'm not seething." Anakin crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow. "Much," she corrected.

He stood up and walked over to her. After gathering her up in his arms, he rested his chin on her head.

"When did you get to be so tall?" she teased, though it was a serious question. She didn't remember her little Ani being so tall.

"Last year," he answered.

"Huh, I never noticed."

"You never let me get close enough for you to tell," he responded seriously. She reached up and ruffled his hair.

"I'm really sorry, Ani."

"I know you are, Jaya, I know you are." He grabbed her hand and pulled her to the door. "C'mon," he said, suddenly playful again. "We've got a surprise waiting for you downstairs."


	5. Surprise

REVIEW RESPONSES: **To SWaddicts1986**: thank you. I giggled a bit at that myself while writing it. Yeah, in some ways it has. **To Chimpo**: "Jaina and Leia don't seem to be in the best of relations"… was that meant to be an understatement, joke, or both? Her temper is amusing… or did you mean that in another way? I can never be too careful about that ever since Valley Lord decided to give me a small taste of the male mind while this was on the Boards… **To Wayne Wright**: Well, I'm glad you decided to give it a chance, and that you like it. Are you also reading _Yavin Academy_ or just this story?

Chapter 5: Surprise

Anakin led Jaina down the stairs, down the hall, and out the back patio door towards the pool house.

"Anakin, where are we going?" she asked for the seventh time since he led her from her room.

"You'll see," he replied, obviously getting bored by her insistent questioning.

"But I want to know."

"Well, you're about to find out." He put his hands over her eyes.

"Hey!" she protested, "How do I know you're not about to walk me right into the water?"

"Would I do that?" Her silence was the only answer she felt he needed. "Well, under normal circumstances, I would take advantage of the situation, but this isn't a normal circumstance."

"Oh, it's not, is it?" she asked as a door opened.

Anakin lifted his hand from her eyes simultaneously with a loud shout of "surprise!"

"Welcome home, Jaina," the people that filled the pool house shouted.

"Oh my God," she said at the huge number of classmates that filled the palace's tri level pool house. Tahiri was the first to embrace her, then Tesar, Malinza, Raynar, Alema, the list went on.

Jaina knew that no one but the core actually knew what had happened. Everyone was told that she was in an accident and went to a resort to recuperate.

The music was loud and proved good for dancing as everyone swayed to the beat whether they were on the makeshift dance floor in the basement or not.

"Can you drink?" Jacen's voice was in her ear from where he had snuck up behind her.

"Yeah, as long as it's not too much." Immediately a beer was thrust into her hand. She gulped it down appreciatively.

"So, Jay, meet any famous celebrities?"

"What are you talking about, Alema? I am a famous celebrity," a typical Jaina Solo sarcastic remark. Everyone around them that heard it smirked and laughed at Alema's folly.

"So, how was it?" Alema pressed on with her questioning.

"It was Mon Cal; we've been there a thousand times." Jaina didn't like where this questioning was going. Alema was up to something, and when Alema was up to something, it usually meant that she knew something that she wasn't supposed to know.

Luckily, Tahiri – Bless the girl – unwittingly saved Jaina, "Yes, but we've only ever been to the clubs and boardwalks."

"Not the beaches," Tee Kay supplied.

"I'm sure Alema was wondering whether or not you had gotten a… _close up_ on some of the… sights," Malinza added.

"Oh, well, I may have gotten up close and personal a couple times, and what a sight they were!" The girls giggled. But both Anakin and Jacen cringed.

"Aw, come on, not in front of me," Jacen complained.

"Go… make out with your girlfriend if you've got a problem with it."

"Well, you heard her, Tenel Ka," Jacen grabbed her arm.

"No, I think Jaina meant your other girlfriend, you know, the one who would actually make out with you in public."

"We're not in public; we're at my house, besides the Goddess demands it."

"No, Jacen, there are people everywhere."

"Not in my room."

"Come on, Sticks, help me out here!"

"Sorry, Tee Kay, you're on your own with that one."

"What happened to being closer than sisters?"

"Went out of style last year," she called as Jacen finally managed to pull her away from their friends. Everyone in the main floor of the pool house had stopped to watch the scene and after laughing at the couples antics began going back to their previous activities.

The crowd was fairly large. If Jaina had to guess, it was at least the entire senior class and probably most of the junior class at Yavin Academy. It was certainly not the best turn out in the history of the usual group's parties, but it was decent. A lot of people were probably on vacation, and many lived on different islands and boarded in the Academy's dorms during the year. There were two people who were noticeably missing. The first, well, Jaina had come to terms with the fact that they would probably never speak again. The other, well…

"Hey, Tesar!" The buzz-haired, pointed faced teenager in question turned at the sound of his name. "Do you know where Zekk is tonight?" He shrugged and shook his head.

"We didn't think you'd want him here," Lowie's gruff voice answered her. He came over to her. "After what happened between you."

"No, I want him here. For future reference, Zekk is welcome. We talked before I left. We're good." A frown formed on Lowie's face, but without being able to see his eyes, Jaina couldn't tell what he was thinking.

"OK, I guess."

Jaina slipped away from the crowd and headed upstairs. She knew no one would be up there. It was a hang out spot only for members of the usual group to be. When it was too cold to swim but too warm to go in the Jacuzzi or if they just needed privacy, they would head up there. Posters of bands and sports figures lined the walls; a wide screen plasma television set hung from the ceiling; there were guitars and a keyboard and plush couches in the hang out spot.

And on one of those plush couches was a couple that had also obviously wanted some alone time.

There were few things that Jaina would actually admit disturbed her. Anything that involved Raynar Thul not wearing all of his clothes used to be at the top of that list; then, of course there was seeing her parents go any farther than a peck on the lips – which had thankfully only happened once in her memory –, watching her brothers and Lowie dance around in nothing but their boxers or briefs while listening to and singing along with Celine Dion – which sadly happened far more than once, as it used to be a bimonthly ritual –, and horror movies that had insects as the villains – Jaina began having nightmares where insects took over her mind an forced her to do atrocious things several years before, no one understood why.

But seeing her best friend lying on top of her twin brother in a heavy make out session which had escaladed to the point where Jacen's hands disappeared up Tenel Ka's shirt topped them all. _'Oh well, best take advantage of the situation and mock them mercilessly before I puke.' _She cleared her throat. She cleared her throat again, loudly this time. Two pairs of eyes snapped over to her while the lips on the same persons were in mid kiss. Blush crept onto their faces.

"Hi, sorry, just wanted to make sure you were aware that I am much too young to be an aunt." She ducked the pillow that came flying at her head by stepping out onto the balcony. She shut the door giving them, and her, more privacy.

She flipped open her phone and dialed a very familiar number. It was to the Academy dorms where Zekk lived. The automated answer asked to which dorm room she wanted to be transferred, and she typed in the three digits of the room he had lived in for three years.

"Hello," he answered in a sleepy haze.

She gasped, "What's this? Zekk asleep on a perfectly good party night?"

"Jaina?"

"Hey, sleepy head."

"What did you break out or something?" Zekk was probably the only one of her friends outside the core that knew the truth of where she had been, and he knew exactly why she was there, unlike the vague idea the others had.

"Nope, they released me. I'm officially sane and no longer a danger to myself or others."

"How much did you have to pay them to say that?"

"Hey!"

"I'm just messing with you, Jaina. So, any particular reason you're calling me at two thirty in the morning?"

"Well, I'm at a party and I was very disappointed to see that you aren't here."

"No one told me that a party was going down."

"Have you already forgotten my rule?"

"Right, sorry, 'spontaneity is the key to successful parties'. But don't tell me that everyone but me just _happened_ to show up on the night you got home from prison."

"Well, no, but you still should have come!"

"I didn't know you'd be home, and I'm hardly your brothers' favorite person. How 'bout I make it up to you?"

"Yeah, how do you plan on doing that?"

"Tomorrow night, come with me to Killik."

"Zekk," she warned.

"What? C'mon, you love that place."

"I can't."

"Sure you can."

"Zekk, don't push it."

"Fine, I'll think of something else and call you later," he sounded like he was hurt at her refusal to spend time with him at the place they had always gone to last year. He hung up without waiting for a response or giving her a goodbye. He was mad at her; Jaina hated it when he was angry with her. But how could she go back after all that she'd managed to do over the summer?

Jaina shook her head and headed back inside barely managing to ignore the intense kissing and groping happening on one of the couches. She hurried back down the stairs to continue partying with her friends.


	6. Total Buzz

A/N: Sorry about all the confusion once againa involving last update. Hopefully, this one will work.

REVEIW RESPOSNES: **To SWaddict1986:** don't worry, no one could get on; not even me! Anakin's nearly seventeen, so yes, very yummy! No, "Killik" has nothing to do with her nightmares in this story. Killik is actually a place. Thanks, and more on their, er, relationship to come. **To Chimpo:** hopefully this chapter will give you a little insight into the rather strange logic of Jaina Solo. Thank you.

Chapter 6: Total Buzz

"_Notebook thing,_

"_I'm exhausted, but my mind is on a total buzz – not that kind of buzz, though. I drank a bit, but it's not like that's illegal or something. My mind's just racing. I'm good at lying, I've been doing it for so long it's not too hard, but for some reason tonight was just impossible to get through. Alema knows something, I'm sure of it, but no one would have let it get out, especially to a slut like her._

"_It was great, partying again. It wasn't spontaneous like I like it, which in my book seriously cut its chances at being good; usually we just call people over or they just show up to crash the place down, but Jacen was probably in charge of this one, so of course there had to be invitations, but that was as far as the planning got, thanks to me._

"_I was Jaina Solo again, and that was perfect. Everyone was looking up to me and wishing they could be me. It's always been like that. No one knows how much I despise it, except for the usual group, the other 'style dictators'. I just wish that the one person who has never interrupted my bitching sessions was here right now cuz I can't handle it. I love that my brothers and my friends did this for me, but I didn't think it would be so hard not being able to scream out 'don't look up to me! I'm a bitch who can't do anything right! I'm an ex-junkie, a liar!', but I can't, and even if I did no one would believe it, it would be 'typical Jaina' or they just wouldn't care. My money is on the latter. Only my friends in the core and Zekk have ever really cared about me, no one else ever has or ever will. Ok, maybe like my dad and Chewie and Uncle Luke and Aunt Mara and my godfather, Wedge Antilles, but they're not friends, they're like family, they have to love me (a memo my mother still after seventeen years has yet to receive)._

"_Teekay asked about being closer than sisters. I told her it went out of style last year; strange thing – I didn't feel like I was lying either. Being friends closer than sisters did go out of style, what happened last year made it very and painfully obvious…_

"_But I don't feel like talking about that right now… Think of something else… Ew, I just did. Have you ever seen your best friend in full make out mode with your twin? Again, no, you haven't considering you're inanimate, but anyway, it is totally gross. Teekay was totally strattling Jacen, and his hands were everywhere. Let me tell you 'bad visual'. But I got them back for it; Teekay's face was hilarious when I told her I didn't feel old enough to be an aunt, if I just had a camera…Note to self: be prepared next time._

"_Talked to Zekk tonight. I called him. He was all nice and then he tried to get me to go with him to Killik. Why would he do something like that? He knew I wouldn't want to go, but he made me feel all guilty for it by acting upset. I don't want him to be angry. I don't want him to leave me; it hurts too much. He hurts me no matter what. But I'd rather it be because I let him than because he just doesn't care about me anymore._

"_But enough of that. I think I'm gonna go to the Coruscant Naval Marina tomorrow to see Wedge. I miss him, and before I left he said something about his nephew who's my age coming to the Academy this year; maybe he'll have already arrived, and he'll be cute or something. If he's Wedge's nephew than he'll at least be a good sailor and will definitely have a good sense of humor. I think I might actually be excited about meeting this guy. Maybe he'll take my mind off other things, like the fact that my ex-whatever-Zekk-was is trying to get me back into drugs and the fact that my former best friend will never speak to me again._

"_Anyway, more later, my mind is finally worn down enough to sleep,_

"_Solo out."_


	7. Political Puppet

A/N: Sorry about the horrible time between the updates. I'll try not to let it happen again.

REVIEW RESPONSES: **To Chimpo**: No, I would have to say that based on YA, Wedge's nephew is _definitely_ not what Jaina thought. Danni, huh? Yeah, Zekk does suck. **To G-Anakin13**: thanks.

Thanks to **JagednJaded/KillerRomance**!!!

Chapter 7: Political Puppet

Jaina walked down the hall to the dining room the next morning. Her mother, already in a designer suit fit for the princess that she was, was sitting down primly with her back to the doorway. Neither of Jaina's brothers or anyone else for that matter was in the room. Jaina tried to silently back out before her mother noticed her and her holey beater and cut off grey sweat pants.

"Jaina, good, you're up, sit down." Jaina gave a small moan of frustration that her mother had some how known she was there. Had it not been for the headache that was already starting to form, Jaina would have stood just to spite her mother, but she knew it would do no good. "What was that?"

"Nothing, Mother." She walked into the room and sat down at her normal place. Instantly a maid seemed to materialize out of thin air and place a plate of breakfast food in front of her.

"We need to go over your schedule for tomorrow. There is a press conference at ten o'clock until noon." Jaina spat out the orange juice she had been drinking. "Jaina!"

"Two hours? Mom, I can't go over a half an hour in front of people!"

"Well, of course you're not going to speak for two hours! You'd ramble for the last hour and a half of it or pass out, both of which would not be beneficial." Jaina rolled her eyes; once again she found herself wondering if the only reason her mother had children was because she thought it would be "beneficial" to her. "No, you'll hold your portion of the press conference for the first half hour, then some of the committee members for the renewal of our territory treaty with the Imperial Remnant and I will speak the last portion of it. I just want you to sit on stage with us."

"So, I'm a political puppet."

"Jaina, the press is starting to get suspicious about how quiet we've been about what happened last year, and when the press gets suspicious, they start to dig and the last thing I need is a scandal during these negotiations."

Jaina fumed. Leia would never treat her precious, boy-after-her-own-heart Jacen or baby Anakin like a pawn. "Oh, so you wouldn't mind if I came out with what actually happened _after_ the negotiations are through?" she bit out.

Leia continued as if Jaina had not said anything, "All you have to do is be the charming Jaina Solo everyone loves, explain that there was a freak speeder accident, that only you were involved, and that you've made a full recovery. Then you just have to sit on stage off to the side. Understood?"

Jaina knew there was no point in arguing with her mother, a politician with years of debate and trickery behind her, so she mutely nodded.

"Good, now, all you have to do today is stay out of trouble. Can you manage that?"

"I was planning on going to see Wedge."

"I thought I said to stay out of trouble." Rarely did Jaina ever find anything her mother said even remotely funny, but she couldn't help the tight smirk that tugged at her lips at the comment about her godfather. She was about to respond with an equally sarcastic remark about Wedge's aptness to get into trouble, when she saw that her mother had glanced at her watch and was now getting a pile of papers ready and picking up her briefcase.

"I'll be sure to tell Wedge that."

"Wonderful," Leia responded, not paying attention to her only daughter anymore. "I have to go to the office now. I'll see you this evening."

Jaina waited until she heard the front door close, before looking at her meal of scrambled eggs, four slices of perfectly cooked bacon, and two lightly toasted biscuits. Never being much of a breakfast eater – which she knew her mother had never figured out, as she had never actually been around for breakfast –, Jaina took her plate into the kitchen, grabbed a bowl and poured Cheerios into it. Rather than cover the little O's with milk, which would mean a spoon would be necessary, she left them plain, as she always did, so she could dig in with her fingers instead.

Her senior year hadn't even started yet, and she was already praying for her graduation.


	8. Seductive Edge

A/N: Sorry for the lack of updates! I'll try to be better.

REVIEW RESPONSES: **To SWaddict1986**: yes, poor Jaina. It's so weird to write that – usually I'm writing "yes, poor Jag" because of something _Jaina_ did. **To Ishbugirl:** thanks. Here's the update.

Chapter 8: Seductive Edge

"_Notebook thing,_

"_Just who does she think she is? Is a political puppet all she actually sees in me? Argh! I just want to scream and throw something! She's supposed to be my mother, but all she is, is a stuck-up politician, dear President Organa-Solo, beloved Princess of the former constitutional monarchy of Alderaan, and of course great and powerful Sovereign Ruler of New Alderaan – a blessed position I will hold someday – bleck, I'd rather die a slow painful death than be a politician. I would never put my kids through what that wench that calls herself a mother put me and Jace and Ani through._

"_She's trying to use me to look good while she holds a press conference on the stupid territory treaty between the Republic and the Imperial Remnant. What kind of mother does that? The worst part though – I can't do anything about it because no matter what I say and how much I bitch about it, I'll be there tomorrow at ten AM and I'll say exactly what she wants me to, and I don't even know why. Why, after all this time, do I still want my mom to say I did a good job and that she's proud of me and actually mean it? _

"_All right, I think I'm definitely entering the "mushy" zone and it's way too early for that. So, I'll write later._

"_Solo out."_

Jaina slammed her notebook shut and shoved it into her shoulder bag. After slinging the black sack that worked as her purse across her shoulder, she left her bedroom and made her way to the garage. She picked her roughest looking speeder to go out in. The press rarely was able to recognize Jaina out of her school uniform or the latest styles in dresses, without make-up, and with her hair in a messy bun, as she was that morning, but everyone on Coruscant could easily pick out Jaina's normal speed boat that she had commissioned an artist to paint running wolves on the sides.

She hopped into the boat and pulled it out of the garage, away from the house for the first time since she arrived on Coruscant.

The Coruscant Naval Marina was not far from the Presidential Palace; which was a very good thing, Jaina was not fond of long waits. It took only a few minutes of travel through the canals – Jaina knowing all the back ways – to arrive at the docks.

The first security officer she encountered recognized her and saluted immediately. She chuckled; everyone had a different reaction to her arrival at the Marina. Most knew her by sight, as she visited so much. There were a few she actually talked to as she went through the paces (which were cut extremely short for her), and they never found it necessary to salute anymore, but those who only saw her for a short period of time always saluted or bent at the waist.

"Halt," the commanding tone in the voice was so unfamiliar that it took Jaina a moment to realize it was directed at her. She lifted her sunglasses. A private stood at the security gate she normally passed through without a second thought. _'A private…'_ Jaina smirked to herself, _'I love messing with privates.'_

"Oh, officer," she said in her most demure voice. "I was just hoping to get in to see a friend."

"No one is allowed through these gates without a security code clearance."

"Oh," she took part of her bottom lip into her teeth and subtly let her voice taken on a more seductive edge. "Couldn't you make an exception…" She walked up closer to the tall young man. "For me?"

"I'm sorry, Miss, but I cannot let you pass."

"Just this once?" she, once again, let more seduction subtly enter her breathy voice and closed most of the gap between her and the private, letting her fingertips graze his chest. He audibly gulped.

"I can't," he said, this time his voice not quite as sure.

"Sure you can; I promise to repay you," she whispered, standing on her toes so she could be a breath away from his mouth. He was distracted enough, Jaina decided. She gently reached to where she knew the key card would be. Unfortunately, she misjudged the distance and stumbled onto the unsuspecting guard, whose reflects were able to catch her instantly. He held her now, which was certainly not hindering her current plan.

"Private!" she heard a very familiar voice scream out from across the docks.

When she turned to look, she could see why the private's face had gone blanch white. Tycho Celchu's face was blood red as he stormed over to them. Her godfather's best friend and former nanny's husband was like most of the older men in her life – severely overprotective.

"What. Are. You. Doing?" he asked, punctuating every word.

"Sir, I was simply helping her, sir."

"Helping her to **_what_**, private?" Instead of allowing the guard to respond, Tycho called over the nearest officer. "Inform General Antilles that there is a situation here that needs his immediate attention."

"Sir, yes, sir."

"Sir, if I may-"

"You most certainly may not."

"She tripped, sir."

"Tripped? Tripped? And she just happened to be standing close enough to you that you'd be able to catch her so well?"

"Colonel, what's going on here?" Tycho offered Jaina's godfather a quick salute.

"I saw this private groping Jaina."

"**_You dare touch my goddaughter?"_**

The private began to shake. His lips moved silently, and Jaina guessed it was in prayer until she heard the quiet studdering of "goddaughter… Jaina Solo… painful death…"

She really did feel sorry for the poor guy. "He wasn't groping me, Wedge, really, I –"

"Jaina, I understand that you don't wish to cause trouble, but if this private was touching you in any way, he has a lot to answer for."

"But you see –"

Wedge didn't let her continue. "Private, when is your guard shift over?"

"Th-th-thirteen hundred hours, Sir."

"You will report immediately to my office at that time so we may discuss how an officer and a gentleman is meant to treat innocent young women, understood?" Had the situation not been serious, Jaina would have snorted at Wedge's comment about her being innocent, but she couldn't hold back the laughter that followed when she thought of playboy Wedge from the womanizing Rogues lecturing the poor boy who did nothing wrong. The private, who looked very close to pissing his pants, did not seem to share in the comedy of the image conjured up.

"Y-y-yes, Sir." Jaina had a feeling he would faint any moment.

"Colonel Celchu, thank you for immediately taking action on this issue."

"Sir," he saluted again, forcing Jaina to roll her eyes. Tycho was so rarely this formal that it was almost funny to see him salute his best friend as a foot soldier would an officer. They'd probably have a laugh about it later in Wedge's office. Meaning, of course, that Jaina would mock him for it, but hey, same difference.

"Back to your duties, Colonel." Tycho saluted, turned heel, and left. "Jaina, shall we?" He offered his arm for her to take.

Jaina threw a glance over her shoulder at the puddle of a man trembling there. "Sorry," she mouthed. Then, she took the proffered arm and smiled sweetly up at her godfather.

He led them away towards his office in the infrastructure that overlooked the ocean.


End file.
